Under the Monster's Skin

This post is for English 10 project, it features 2 of the many versions done of the poem "Under the monster's skin" as well as screen shots of peoples responses to the poem.

The poem that I would show most commonly:

Under the Monster’s Skin

In the dark there is a monster

Close to the ground, it is hidden

Shrouded in the sins that others leave behind

It is not seen nor is it heard          

None would even notice a trace

But the unlucky who stray too close

Those who are touched by the monster

They are the ones who notice

They can see it

They can hear it

And only they can

Understand its despair

Only they know what it is

Only they know               

Who the monster once was

This is a revised version of  the poem made to flow better and rhyme, which I wrote with A LOT of advice from a few people I was chatting.

Under the Monster's Skin

Amidst the darkness lies a monster

Hidden in the clouded ground

Shrouded in the sins of others

Unseen, Unheard, not a sound

None would even heed the monster

Other than the ones who stray

And those whom which the monster touches

Knows the secrets, start to pray

They can see it in the darkness

They can hear it in their sleep

And they and them can hear it
Understand what sadness reap

Only they and them know the secret

Only they and them do know

Only they and them hear the whispers

Only they know what it knows

Screen shots

These are some screen shots of peoples response, taken from mainly skype and chatango. I only took screen shots when I got some sort of feed back, but I was pleasantly surprised to find almost everyone left some sort of comment

 this was taken from a long conversation I had with someone who spends a lot of time writing in his spare time, and was one of the first people I asked to read my poem. He gave me a lot of feed back and I great changed my poem because of what he told me, but it was far to long a conversation to all have here so I just took a little piece.

This post is from someone else posting my poem on there facebook group because I had been talking to them for a while and at some point I complained about how I had very few facebook friends. When she heard this she took it upon herself to make sure my poem world be hear on facebook. she then made this post in a few different 

groups one of which was this pokemon group. She sent me a pic of the post a few seconds after it was made, by which time it already had "seen by 2".

Some more Skype messages this time with friends I know in RL.

Now coming back to Chatango and people who I did not know very well and would be chatting with for sometimes the first time.

these are a few people who I spend quite a bit of time with on the internet.

 I sent my poem on Skype to many people, I also sent one to my mother and this is her response.