Under the Monster's Skin

This post is for English 10 project, it features 2 of the many versions done of the poem "Under the monster's skin" as well as screen shots of peoples responses to the poem.

The poem that I would show most commonly:

Under the Monster’s Skin

In the dark there is a monster

Close to the ground, it is hidden

Shrouded in the sins that others leave behind

It is not seen nor is it heard          

None would even notice a trace

But the unlucky who stray too close

Those who are touched by the monster

They are the ones who notice

They can see it

They can hear it

And only they can

Understand its despair

Only they know what it is

Only they know               

Who the monster once was

This is a revised version of  the poem made to flow better and rhyme, which I wrote with A LOT of advice from a few people I was chatting.

Under the Monster's Skin

Amidst the darkness lies a monster

Hidden in the clouded ground

Shrouded in the sins of others

Unseen, Unheard, not a sound

None would even heed the monster

Other than the ones who stray

And those whom which the monster touches

Knows the secrets, start to pray

They can see it in the darkness

They can hear it in their sleep

And they and them can hear it
Understand what sadness reap

Only they and them know the secret

Only they and them do know

Only they and them hear the whispers

Only they know what it knows

Screen shots

These are some screen shots of peoples response, taken from mainly skype and chatango. I only took screen shots when I got some sort of feed back, but I was pleasantly surprised to find almost everyone left some sort of comment

 this was taken from a long conversation I had with someone who spends a lot of time writing in his spare time, and was one of the first people I asked to read my poem. He gave me a lot of feed back and I great changed my poem because of what he told me, but it was far to long a conversation to all have here so I just took a little piece.

This post is from someone else posting my poem on there facebook group because I had been talking to them for a while and at some point I complained about how I had very few facebook friends. When she heard this she took it upon herself to make sure my poem world be hear on facebook. she then made this post in a few different 

groups one of which was this pokemon group. She sent me a pic of the post a few seconds after it was made, by which time it already had "seen by 2".

Some more Skype messages this time with friends I know in RL.

Now coming back to Chatango and people who I did not know very well and would be chatting with for sometimes the first time.

these are a few people who I spend quite a bit of time with on the internet.

 I sent my poem on Skype to many people, I also sent one to my mother and this is her response.

The waknuk star 

entry: rumours of the unholy lands 

The Horrors of the Fringes

The cursed Badlands, where the devil’s creations run free, and worse, where the creatures of God cannot survive. There is very little we know of these Godless places and the mysteries that they hold. We do, however, know more about the Fringes, having heard the stories of the few who have returned from these lands alive.

Many know that a place that was once considered Fringes can be considered purified and livable once the rate of birth of deviations has gone under 50%. The land is still tainted, but there are always those few brave, reckless and desperate people who will attempt to inhabit these desolate lands. Most will avoid these places as it is the land of the devil, whose evilness causes misfortunes such as the high rate of deviations in livestock and crop. There is even rumor of great beasts roam these unholy lands. These giant monsters created by the devil are known to attack livestock and even humans! These are the problems that those who live near the Fringes must face, even more so for those who actually venture into the Fringes. It is also widely known that, in the Fringes, it is almost impossible to grow food, causing the mutants that live there to fight over what scarce food that is available. This has led to the people of the Fringes invading pure lands in their attempts to steal food, in extreme cases even killing innocent citizens. Imagine trying to survive in such a landscape, where there is next to no food, unimaginable monsters, and people of the devil! We talked with an individual who knew of a man who did such a thing! The individual asked us to agree to not tell his identity in exchange for sharing the information. He told us:

 “He was a crazy man! No one in their right mind would ever step into the Fringes on their own. I know I would not. He said crazy things about men eating other men! Then he started talking about beasts the size of houses that spat acid! I wish he could tell you his story. He died soon after he told me his story. He was hurt real bad when I saw him. I tried to help him, but it was too late, so I was the only one who ever got to hear of his incredulous story.”

Now remember all the brave men who volunteered to run into this land, which robs men of their sanity and their lives, to protect their families from the evil deviations that can talk to each other with just their thoughts (read more on pg…)! God bless these brave souls! If you spot the chance of anyone around you being such a horrible and deceptive Offence, please, not just for your sake, but also for the sake of your children and yout other loved ones, tell an inspector! It is a wonder if these dreadful telepathic deviants are the kinds of horrors that we can expect roam the Badlands. Let us hope that none of us ever find out!

This night is a special one. None are like it or will ever be like this one. I have never had a night as great and don’t see it possible for there, to ever be one that will be better than this. I never would have thought that I could meet someone, which would change the very way I view life. Suddenly nothing seems more important than the next time we will meet. I may have just gone to one of the most extravagant parties I've ever been, to yet it didn't make any impression on me, the only thing I can remember his him. I would give up anything just to spend more time with him. Oh but curses this useless family feud why must he be a Montague. Still he has asked for my hand and we will find a way past this barrier and then I will be together with Romeo.

Bitch of Belsen

A poetic response to the short story, “sound of the hollyhocks” by Hugh Garner

My roomate listens to the wispers of flowers

The hollycocks and the dandylions

They tell stories of the past

Erie memories of what has transpired

The painful truths too dark

For him to let go

He speaks of deep sorrow

And the one to which he will never return

The bitch of Belsen

The one that Haunts him

In his wakehood

And in his sleep

Just testing out colours.

First post on this blog just wanted to see how posting worked.